Where Have I Been?!?! …Confessions

I know you’re well aware that I haven’t written in over a year. Why? The answer is simple…I haven’t had time. It’s also quite complex…I haven’t had the nerve or better yet, the insight to write this. Recently, a new outlook hit me, so here goes…

In October of 2009 I lost my job – very unexpectedly and without the payment that was due to me for the previous month of work. I had bills to pay and in my mind Christmas was creeping up on me at an alarming rate. After I stopped crying, I picked myself up and I did what I know…I started making things. The list of new things that I wanted to make actually started to come to life. I was happy.

During a relapse of self pity Mr. looked at me and said, “If you could sell things from here, I would be okay with that.” I was baffled. “Sell what?” I asked. “Sell the things you’re making. If you can make enough money to help pay the bills, I’m okay with that. You’re happy doing this,” he said.

I had just been given the green light to do what I love – make things. I went for it and I went for it big. I got gutsy and I signed up for a craft show. Just one; just enough to test the waters. I loaded my table and sat and waited… and I fought back tears. Did I just spend money (that I didn’t have) on supplies to make things and I’m not going to sell a thing? And then it happened. I sold something and then something else.

I had confidence and I was going to make this work. By mid December I had enough confidence that I opened my big mouth at a local store and asked for a meeting to discuss selling my wares. She said yes. By mid January 2010 she had placed her initial order. I couldn’t have been happier.

Fast forward to now… I make and sell hair bows and accessories for little girls and women and I have another product line of goat milk soap and lotion. I sell at the Farmers’ Market, craft shows and I have six retail stores that carry my products. I have a website for my hair bows and accessories that is fully functional and a website for the soaps and lotions that is in the development stage.

I did it! So what’s the big deal and why so secretive? The entire time I’ve been doing this, I’ve been thinking, what does making girly hair bows and accessories have to do with being self reliant?

And then one day recently it hit me like a ton of bricks…DUH!!! It has everything to do with being self reliant – I am reliant on myself to make and sell my products to be able to pay the bills.

So there you have it… No super duper, top-secret plan; just me finally getting out of the way of myself and looking at things from a different angle.

All the while I’ve been busy with all of this, our farm life has story after story that you need to get caught up on. It will just have to be after the fact.