Monday, October 10, 2011

February Itch – Planning A Project

According to the “Mr.” dictionary...

Itch noun
\ˈfe-b(y)ə-ˌwer-ē, \ˈich\

the time in which one is beyond stir crazy, is ready to crawl out of his or her skin with boredom, therefore pacifying oneself with reading and planning spring and summer projects. One must be forewarned that graph paper will be used in excess and more money than planned will be spent.

The February Itch can be blamed for many all of the projects around here. No matter the project, it has the same rhythm and mimics my favorite children’s book… If You Give A Mouse A Cookie. The projects go something like this…

“If you give Mr. a new book, he’s going to order another one. When the post office delivers the second book, he’ll probably ask for some graph paper. When he’s finished, he’ll make a list of everything he needs. Then he’ll want to look through all of the most recent building supply sales flyers. When he looks through the sales flyers, he’ll get another idea that could make his project better. So he’ll probably ask for more graph paper. When he’s finished with the second round of graph paper, he’ll want to take a trip the building supply store. He’ll start shopping. He might get carried away and find a new really expensive tool that will make the project that much easier. He may even end up buying a cordless 4-tool combo kit.

When he brings the new tool kit home, he’ll have to put it together and “play” with it immediately. You’ll have to bear with him as he decides to tinker with an already completed project. He’ll get rejuvenated with the original project and might even make it more complicated because after all, he has these new tools that will make these complicated additions possible. He’ll probably place his order for supplies. So you’ll receive the phone call that the massively huge truck is going to deliver several tons of supplies by driving up your narrow driveway tomorrow, (without driving through your yard, your flower beds or getting stuck to the axels in your front yard…right) and he’ll take the day off to wait for the delivery.

When he looks at the piles of new supplies, he’ll get so excited he’ll want to check everything off his list to see what remains. He’ll see he’s still missing a few things and ask if we have received any new sales flyers. He’ll make a new list. When the list is finished, he’ll decide to make another trip to the building supply store. Then he’ll get another idea. Which means he’ll need more graph paper. He’ll stare at his graph paper, his lists and his piles of supplies. Looking at his plan on paper will remind him that there was one technique that he wasn’t quite sure of and needs more research.

So…he’ll ask to see one of his books again. And chances are if he looks at that book, he’s going to want to order another one specific to that technique.”

There you have it…the February Itch. And you’re probably thinking, “It’s October, why does this matter now?” Mr. ordered his first book last week…and then he ordered another one. And you’re right, it’s only October. Be afraid…I know I am.